-b comes out. again...
journalcon was a while back and -b went. here’s what he remembers:
- the flight from FLL to SAN is longer than -b’s lifespan. he’ll never again do two coasts in one day.
- lifts at the horton plaza westin are woefully unreliable. -b and amanda walked down 9 flights of stairs and around four city blocks and STILL beat the elevator to the lobby.
- even though he has the outward appearance of lankness, -b can eat four cows, three pigs, and a sheep in one setting. he has witnesses.
- beth may be the most stellar conversationalist ever. she managed to take the most pregnant and awkward pause in conversation history and turn it around.
- -b can’t use public transportation to save his life. he still owes MTS a dollar. check’s in the mail.
- weetabix’s cleavage does not need a prop. it mesmerizes small children and turns grown men into slobbery wimpering messes.
- no matter what he tells you, chauffi can NOT sing. even when he’s tricked out with a britney spears headset.
- he can, however, attract large african game animals and south asian beasts of burden with his snoring. it’s not pretty.
- ““sunny”” southern california is entirely a myth. -b never saw the sun once in three days.
- contrary to the crumudgenly persona he tries to carry off, chuck is a pretty nice guys. he’s also a shameless thief of restaurant beepers.
- the playlist on -b’s ipod is so embarrassingly bad that chauffi was inclined to ring miss bix to reveal the contents. milli vanlli, anyone?
- no matter where he is in the world, -b always manages to stumble into the midst of the gayest place there is. he has no gaydar though.