kerry on wayward son
-b (9:43:46 PM): call off the search party
R. (9:45:08 PM): I was doing no such thing. look up the temperature here
R. (9:45:18 PM): that will tell you what I’ve been doing
-b (9:45:59 PM): oh. i see you’ve been excavating your testicles from your body cavity
-b (9:46:09 PM): 49 here and clear skies
R. (9:53:08 PM): so thankfully at 9:30 it was all over
R. (9:53:16 PM): I fell asleep with election coverage going, lights on and I woke up at 3am
-b (9:53:41 PM): and found out drumroll..> NO ONE HAD FUCKING WON
R. (9:53:45 PM): and tom brokaw still wouldn’t say BUSH WON
-b (9:53:53 PM): and i wake up at five am
-b (9:53:57 PM): and can i get a drumroll please..> NO ONE HAD FUCKING WON
-b (9:54:09 PM): and again at seven
-b (9:54:10 PM): wanna guess? if you guessed NO ONE HAD FUCKING WON
-b (9:54:23 PM): you guessed correctly
-b (9:54:29 PM): so i go to work at eight am. no fucking winner
-b (9:54:37 PM): nine. ten. NOTHING
-b (9:54:46 PM): how the FUCK can an election last that long R. HOW?!
-b (9:54:51 PM): we live in the twenty first fucking century
-b (9:54:58 PM): the motherfucking digital age and we can’t figure out a fucking winner
-b (9:55:05 PM): we don’t deserve a democracy. we just don’t. we can’t decisively elect a leader
-b (9:55:25 PM): we need to just hand our asses to the brits and become a fucking commonwealth and be done
-b (9:55:45 PM): because jesus, another election like this and i’m gonna homicide bomb my ass off the face of the planet
R. (9:55:45 PM): so after kerry conceded, FNC, the foley at the bottom
R. (9:56:01 PM): BUSH WINS REELECTION and fireworks in the corner
R. (9:56:08 PM): FIREWORKS
-b (9:56:09 PM): no. no fucking way. liar. LIAR
-b (9:56:16 PM): there’s no way. but wait i saw it with my own eyes
R. (9:56:20 PM): I don’t have the time or energy to make this shit up
-b (9:56:22 PM): with my own eyes i saw it and i still don’t believe you
R. (9:56:40 PM): and CNN put a black band over the US map
-b (9:56:44 PM): LOLOL
-b (9:56:48 PM): yes well and there’s this
-b (9:57:26 PM): i’ll let you look
R. (9:58:17 PM): -b
R. (9:58:21 PM): it is made up of pictures
-b (9:58:27 PM): of dead soldiers
R. (9:58:35 PM): yes. I fell on the floor and couldn’t type. the keyboard didn’t follow
-b (9:58:43 PM): that fucked up fat piece of shit. and he’s rich. RICH R. he’s rich. and we aren’t
R. (9:59:03 PM): we could have done that. but wouldn’t have
-b (9:59:09 PM): i know. i know.
-b (9:59:28 PM): i hate democracy. i’m moving to DPRK