a target by any other name
To: people
From: -b
Subject: a target by any other name
dear people:
target is not all that. i worked there for five years, so i would know. they pump pure oxygen through the ventilation system to make you giddy and think that their cheaply made imported shit is special. it’s not.
one time i was stocking a carton of shoes and had to don a level A hazmat suit to stave off the toxic vapors. the poor little bangledeshi sweatshop child wasn’t so lucky because his corpse was in the carton. apparently it was easier to export him than bury him. then there was that time we had to unstock these children’s shirts because they burned faster than tissue paper. i’m not making that up.
they also indoctrinate employees in such a way that their closets are impeccably arranged by color and size and their dreamscapes are littered with visions of ROY G BIV and a singing dana carvey head in a microwave. this is five years after they quit. that sort of shit just isn’t humane.
you should also know that a target by any other name is mal-wart. “i’m just saying.”
-b